Totally lost it

Last week was a pure 'off' week for me. For some unexplainable reasons, I was a cranky person. Unexplainable? Naaahhh... Not really... But it is not good enough a reason to act like that.

Anyway, Q started coming back from school bringing her lunch back. Untouched. Almost.

And I went ballistic! Seriously I have never been that angry with her.. And at the end of everything, both of us were crying. She of pain, and me of frustration and guilt. Then we apologise to each other. With lots of hugs and kisses.

What happened to me? I am a crazy, horrible, unreasonable mother. What was I thinking?

That night I went to bed crying, and praying that I would be a more patient mother. I am working on this. Hard.

And then I looked at her sleeping, so peacefully, and my guilt came back. I wish I could take back what I have done.

To my darling Q, I am so, so sorry. I should have not lost my temper. Please forgive me. I love you. So very much no words can describe it.